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"A Drinking Team with a Hockey Problem"      Visit the Beak's Web Page:  http://www.lopatka.net

Bolingbrook, IL January 1, 2007

Attendance: Much Better

Where Have all the old guys gone?

Friday December 29, 2006
Meaningless Whites 9, Reds 4
Meaningful Whites 3 Reds 0
The whites won tonight 9-4. I am not sure about the meaningful score, but I know that Don , Harvey and Thor had had one each.... Both goals

Harvey came ready to Party!

worthy of Sports Center. The goals on me were 3 by Danny and 1 by Art.  Brian
As for Friday's game. If memory serves me right Steve Granato had two. Robert had one, Tommy had at least two. Mike Presecky had one. Stump had one. That's about all I can remember.  Perry
Monday January 1, 2007
Whites 6, Reds 4
Meaningful Brinks 3 Reds 0

The Whites loaded up with 5 Granato and one Mazzarella to jump off to an early lead.  Rob and Donny set up their Dad every chance they had.  Donny even passed up the net on a break away and waited for his Dad to set up a goal.  Tweedy and Nick tried to do the same, but they fell asleep waiting for Beak and Harvey (Red's only Meaningful Players) to get into the zone.  Brinks had a Hat Trick, plus one that Dr. Evil disallowed.  The Reds made a game of it with a beautiful Pinball Wizard goal by Mini Wheezer that Tweedy set up.  The Puck rang off of several posts and other objects before it came to rest behind the Brain.  Beak Junior beat the Brain with a flutter blast late in the game to make it 6-4.  Tweedy and Nick had the other 2 goals for the Reds.  Steve and Robby Granato

 had the other White goals.  Eddie Had a fine game kicking out many Granato shots.  Papa Joe said he was in mid season form, as he hit Eddie every time he shot.  The Brain looked white as a ghost when The Anvil threatened to put on his little used White sweater before the game, but Ed went Red.

Rich Storm gives his troops a pep talk.
December 31, 2006
It is time for the fourth annual QT Awards, which were first given out in 1997, and, rest assured, QT is working on this problem.

Someone's Mission Is Being Accomplished Award: Halliburton has been charging $45 to deliver a six-pack of soda to our soldiers in Iraq.


News Story of the Year (tie):

  A man bit a dog in Blenheim, Ontario.

  A man bit a dog in Victoria, British Columbia. (Don't mess with those Canadians)

  A man bit a panda in Beijing.


Trickle-On Economics Award (tie):

  The CEO of IBM, which cut pension benefits for its workers this year, will receive a pension of $11,000 a day.

  Northwest Airlines offered advice to workers facing layoffs including, "Don't be shy about pulling something you like out of a trash can."


Miracle of the Ages of the Year (tie):

  Miraculous water bubbling from a tree in San Antonio, Texas, was found not to have been a miracle from Jesus but a case of the tree's roots having tapped into a city water line.

  Miraculous sweet seawater at a beach near Mumbai, India, was found not to have been a miracle from Allah but a case of inflows of fresh water from heavy rainfalls and toxic pollutants.


Warning Label of the Year: On a folding canvas deck chair: "Do not attempt to lift the front end of the chair while sitting down on it."


All You Need Is Love (and an Attorney on Retainer) Award:

  The Sexual Misconduct Policy at Gettysburg College requires that any student wishing to hug another student must first ask permission and then continue to ask permission while the hug continues.

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  The Sexual Harassment Policy at Davidson College in North Carolina prohibits "inquiries about dating."

Go To the rest of the QT awards

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Click Here for more party pictures

Click Here for Last Year's Pictures

More fourth annual QT Awards Continued

Lest We Forget that the Dark Ages Were a Faith-Based Initiative Award: Schools in Arkansas ordered teachers to avoid using the word "evolution" and to describe geological specimens as "very, very old" instead of millions of years old because the schools feared backlash from fundamentalist Christians.


Modern Education + the Criminal Mind Award: A Boston man charged with murder grabbed his attorney during the trial and tried to strangle him.

Brown vs. Board of Education Separate-But-Equal Award: A strategy memo for the Congressional Black Caucus insisted that it is "critical that its membership remain exclusively African-American."


Newspaper Headline of the Year (Fairbanks Daily News-Miner): "Report: Flooding caused by nature."


Street Corner of the Year: In Ann Arbor, Mich., the corner of Nixon and Bluett.


The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators Award (tie):

  A school in East London banned children from raising hands to answer questions to avoid causing embarrassment and a sense of victimization among children who don't raise their hands.

  Madisonville-North Hopkins High School in Madisonville, Ky., named 30 valedictorians.


The Not Me Decade, in Which Everybody Else Is Responsible for Everything, Award: A New York City woman who injured herself when she fell off a bar she had climbed onto to participate in a "Shake-It-Like-Shakira" contest filed suit against the tavern for "failing to warn" her that she might injure herself if she climbed onto a bar to participate in a "Shake-It-Like-Shakira" contest.


The Case for the San Andreas Fault Award: A decision by Kelseyville High School in California to drop its American Indian mascot in favor of a medieval knight was attacked because medieval knights represent war and the choice of a male mascot is insensitive to gender discrimination.


Supermarket Headline of the Year (tie):




And Happy New Year!

We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work Award (tie):

  An annual Giant Eel Toss fund-raiser in Lyme Regis, England, in which two teams of fishermen tried to knock each other down with a dead eel suspended on a rope, was canceled because it was determined the event was "disrespectful to the dead eel."

  A nursery school in Oxfordshire, England, changed "Baa baa, black sheep" to "Baa baa, rainbow sheep."

Go To the start of the QT awards


Go to Last week's Duffer News

To E-mail the Duffer News Web master, just click here! g.lopatka@comcast.net

You can e-mail History updates to Beak.

December 25, 2006 Christmas at Our House

December 17th, 2006 Cosley Zoo

December 2nd, 2006 Holy Trinity Christmas Party

November 23rd, 2006 Thanksgiving 

November 18th, 2006 Michelle's Oswego Horse Show

November 17th, 2006 I returned to the Ice (only as a Referee)

November 8, 2006 Transit of Mercury




Hockey Links: 







Looking for a page with your name on it? Try the lopatkanetlogo.gif (7134 bytes) search page.


Here are some summer pages to visit

September 30th Old Photos

September 16th White Fence Farm (End of "Cabin Fever")

September 1st Earth is no longer a Planet?

August 26th Audrey and Grace visit

August 14th my left hip was replaced.

August 6th My Sister Pat pays a visit

August 4th Michelle's 12th Birthday

July 25th Four Field Trips in one day

July 19th Kathie gets her first coaching win

July 17, 2006 Kane County Cougars



These are the Duffer Elf dancers that got "Spammed" by some services.

Click here to see Harvey dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=9213315da2e51a04aff7a50G06122320

Click here to see  Klinger dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=c18d82a9390c2a0f730c115G06122320

Click here to see  Brinks dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=b022ec175a6deb62a6155caG06122320

Click here to see Mini  dance.  http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=38354df541e6d26b58034aaG06122320

Click here to see Wheezer dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=e9c3f01cfa2cf7bfb01d1a4G06122320

Click here to see Boris dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=89895880799581a09bd4f26G06122320

Click here to see Donny dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=60f26db46c374a8c1e005e2G06122322

Click here to see Smurf dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=c2175ffbc966efca447075cG06122322

Click here to see John dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=c63d1f0c07b59ecceda7c2cG06122322

Click here to see Beak dance. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=c9649ed2cbf1616ec5d3f03G06122310


To E-mail the Web master, just click here! greg@lopatka.net

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