Duffer Hockey News for January 13th, 2005

"A Drinking Team with a Hockey Problem" Visit the Beak Web Page: http://www.lopatka.net

Bolingbrook, IL 1/1/05

Attendance 22 Report by Beak

Goalies Dominate!

When the game started it looked like the Reds would blow out the Whites, with such stellar players like the Z brothers, Blue Ball Bill Stump, and Beavis. Stump started the scoring when he got away from the pack and scored a break away goal to give the Reds an early 1-0 lead. The superior Red army lived up to their hype when they ran up a 6-0 lead with 3 goals by the Z Boys and Blue Ball Bill popped in a pair, with one coming from behind the net. He bounced it off of Rich Storm and into the net. Hacksaw got a laugh on the


	This picture showed up on a Google search.

bench when he said, "we are losing despite of our superior age. The Anvil carried a shut out deep into the second period when Brinks scored the only Meaningful goal of the game. The line of Beak, Boris and Rich Storm made it interesting early in the third, when Art and Stormy poked a pair past the Anvil, but that was it as Eddie shut the door for the rest of the night. Mini Wheezer closed out the win when he scored with 7 seconds left in the game. The Brain kicked out many meaningful shots to notch his 3rd straight Meaningful shut out.

Media Guide
1/1/05 Starting Goalies The Anvil Vs. The Brain

Healthy Scratches: Tommy Z, Ghost, Doc, Drano, Super Dave, The Flea, Blue Ball Bill, Dill Deau, The Nailer, Magoo, Berserk, Koss, Sanchez, Miller Lite and Thor. Disabled List: Tweedy, Uncle Bob and Buckshot

Worcester

Worcester-Providence

We will need a “yes” or “no” for the Worcester trip, then a deposit in a few weeks. We are looking to Play in Providence on the 15th of April, and Worcester on the 16th. We will Leave Thursday after work and return home Sunday evening.


	Ryno and Morgan get the call from the Hall.

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	The Deer Hunters
Can you name the active Duffers in this picture?
	Can you name the Duffers in this picture?
Frank and Jan on New Year's Day?

The Bobka Factor

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The following is a reprint from a 1982 Duffer Newsletter:

Dear Duffer advisor:
I am a new member and I am confused about the scoring system used by the Duffers. Last week, the team that I was on won by a score of 12-4 but all of my teammates had their heads down after the game mumbling while our opponents were slapping hands and boasting about their victory using the Bobka Factor. Please explain.

Confused Duffer

Dear Confused,
The Mathematical formula for the Bobka Factor is simple:
LG = Legitimate goals by Bobka's Opponents. (Goals scored while Bobka was off the ice)
TG = Tainted Goals by Bobka's opponents. (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense)
Lg = Legitimate goals by Bobka's team (Goals scored while Bobka was off the ice)
bg = Bonus Goals by Bobka's team. (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense)
BOS = Bobka's opponent score
BTS = Bobka's team score
Now let's use the game you spoke of as an example. Digital Dan's data shows 10 of your goals were tainted (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense) therefore, you only have 2 Legitimate goals. Plug this information into the formula, and you get the following:
2=LG 10+TG The Square root of 10 is 3.1622776 + 2= 5.1622776 is the BOS
Bobka's team had 2 Bonus goals because they scored with Fred on the ice. Their score is figured as follows:
2 BG = 4 + 2Lg = 6 (Bobka's team score)
Sorry, you lost a heartbreaker by .8377224 of a goal. Now you can see why your team was a bunch of dejected, disgusted Duffers? You lost a heart breaker to Bobka* by the score of 6 to 5.1622776

*Bobka is the Polish word for fruit bread or Fruitcake.

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