Visit the Beak Web Page:  http://www.lopatka.net

9 meaningful goals?  We have to go back to a 4 on 4 summer game in the 90s to find that many Meaningful goals in one game.  It took us 6 games this season to get our 9th meaningful goal on October 17th.  Mr. Clean started the Meaningful goal parade when he took a pass from Miller Lite and flipped the puck in the net.  He almost scored on the next shift when Klinger made a shin guard save, but Hacksaw scored on his next shot to give Tweedy and the Whites a 2-0 lead.  Beak beat the Brain with a one timer that he got from Berserk.  Beak made it 4-0 when he fired a shot through Knarf's legs that found it's way through Klinger's legs and then it wiggled it's way through the Brain's pads for a very lucky goal. He never even saw the shot!  That was one seeing eye puck.  Stump has not had time to teach the rookie goalie the Braille method of goal tending that Stump and Slime Dog perfected in the late 70s.**  The Reds picked up a couple of meaningless goals when Johnny Z and Mini Wheezer beat Tweedy.  Beak picked up his hat trick when all five White players played tick tack toe with one touch passes that went from Miller Lite to Hacksaw, to Beak to Perry ,the Flea,  to Berserk and back to Beak who flipped it past the Brain. 
Uncle Bob poked one past Tweedy to give the Reds their third goal.  Fruit cake scored a goal that sparked

that happens.  Back in 1982, the Reds (who would have been the Blues) would have been given 16 goals for that 4th goal (4 squared = 16), but that was only their first Meaningful goal so the Whites claimed that since 1 squared is equal to 1, Fruit Cake's goal only counted as one.  The Rules committee will have to clean up that antiquated rule some day.
Knarf got the Reds going when he flipped a shot through a crowd that Papa tipped past Tweedy.  To make the Meaningful score 5-2 Thor answered that goal with a pass from Brinks to make it 6-2.  Papa closed out the Meaningful scoring when he reached for a Zagnuts' pass and fell over while flipping the puck past tweedy to complete the unbelievable 9 goal meaningful game.   The Reds finished their great comeback to win the meaningless contest 8-7 with a goal by Zagnuts.  Miller Lite or the Flea  picked up the only Meaningless goal for the Whites. *See Page 2 
**See Duffer News January 24,03

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The following is a reprint from a 1982 Duffer Newsletter:

Dear Duffer advisor:
I am a new member and I am confused about the scoring system used by the Duffers. Last week, the team that I was on won by a score of 12-4 but all of my teammates had their heads down after the game mumbling while our opponents were slapping hands and boasting about their victory using the Bobka Factor. Please explain.

Dear Confused,
The Mathematical formula for the Bobka Factor is simple:
LG = Legitimate goals by Bobka's Opponents. (Goals scored while Bobka was off the ice)
TG = Tainted Goals by Bobka's opponents. (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense)
Lg = Legitimate goals by Bobka's team (Goals scored while Bobka was off the ice)
bg = Bonus Goals by Bobka's team. (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense)
BOS = Bobka's opponent score

jected, disgusted Duffers? You lost a heart breaker to Bobka* by the score of 6 to 5.1622776

Get your $100 deposit to Mike Presecky, by December 27th. The balance will most likely be due by February 1st.