"A Drinking Team with a Hockey Problem"      Visit the Beak's Web Page:  http://www.lopatka.net

Bolingbrook, IL March 9, 2007
Attendance 28

Zay Smith reports the following:  The U.S. Postal Service has responded to complaints about long waits for service by removing the clocks from 37,000 post offices.  Now they have to raise the rates to pay the millions that they spent removing those clocks.

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I have to apologize for page one, I was pretty cranky when I wrote that rant.  I was tired of seeing basketball on all of my favorite channels, so I started writing the Duffer News a day early.  I know that you don't check out the Duffer News to read someone complaining and whining.  I usually write the Duffer News on Monday night, when my wife is at the bowling alley, I'm in a good mood and I can barely remember what happened last Friday.  If it wasn't for Duffer reporters Mini-Wheezer, The Flea, Art and Butt Head, I would have to make up a lot more things to fill the page.  Sunday evenings were always a downer for me, even when I was in grade school I wanted to throw something at the TV when Roy Rodgers started singing "Happy Trails to You" That was the time I realized that my homework was not done and I had to go to school in the morning.

I took some advice from a Jimmy Buffett song that tells you to "Breathe in, Breath out Move on."  Another quote to live by is "Don't get depressed, depression is anger without enthusiasm. 
Here is what I wrote on Monday night with a hockey game on TV:
Our new 55 year old speedy guest, T.O. (Tom O'Connor) scored a meaningful goal to give the Whites a 3-0 meaningful win.  The 9 other White goals came from Thor, Brinks, Art, Rob, Robert and the rest by Kevin.  The Reds made it close with goals from Mini Wheezer, a nice tip in by Johnny Z, a one timer by AJ, Tommy Z (2) and Jeff (3).  The Anvil managed to stop 79 shots and We were glad to see him make an appearance at the Bar.  Stump, Mini and the Anvil strolled in about an hour later than the rest of the guys, to help us break a new Wild Wing attendance record.  We never found out what took them so long, but it brought back memories of yesteryear when Slime Dog and Veto would wonder out of the locker room with glazed eyes and a big smiles.  Midnight Hockey Author, Bill Gaston suggests that we should smoke a joint in the locker room since they won't let us have a beer.  I haven't heard from Robert, after he imitated Mini Wheezer trying for the Klinger Krash Award.  He had 2 spectacular crashes.  What he lacked in girth, he made up with speed.  Using the Einstein's theory of relativity, we can theorize that he made as much noise as any of Mini-Wheezer's thunderous crashes.  The crash mercifully shortened the game by about 5 minutes, keeping Eddie's Shots on goal under 80.  If The Flea, Rich Storm and Bill By the Way weren't flying around and blocking shots, The Anvil could have seen a little more rubber.  The Brain reminded me that last week he was credited with a rare goalie assist in that thrilling 11-10 win. Klinger almost had one as did Knarf.  Special Ed didn't get his usual Hat Trick.

Mini-Wheezer has accepted the roll of "go to guy" in Bloomington.  Please call him if your plans change.  I will be in Alaska next Week, but I should be able to check my e-mail, so let me know what is going on.  We are hoping that Bloomington can develop into something special.  Art is filling the empty spots with Peoria Duffers.  Maybe we will have a place to play on that Thanksgiving Saturday next year.  Say hello to the Hanson Brothers for me.  I invited them to play with us, but they never answered. 
http://www.prairiethunderhockey.com/