Duffer Hockey News for 2010

Welcome to

This week's song is "What are You Doing New Year's Eve"


	Duffer News


	3 Full Lines keep the Goalies Busy!

Romeoville, IL 01/01/10 A Great Turn Out and some Great Food!
Attendance 32

Brinks flew in from Vancouver and brought a few cases of premium beer. Thanks Don!! He also got his son Rob out for his first game of the season. Rob put the first goal past Tweedy. His brother Don had 2 poster goals and their Dad, Brinks, got the only meaningful goal of the game to give the Whites a 1-0 meaningful win. Tom "T&A" Ambrosia scored the other Italian Goal. Team Italy featured 3 Mazzarellas, 3 Granatos and 1 Ambrosia. Klinger Giffune was on the Italian team until he was sent packing at game time to keep Bill Conte company. The Reds featured an Eastern European flavor, with 3 Lopatkas, 3 Preseckys, a Bobka, a Bill BTW, an Oskroba and a


	These stellar defensemen held the Granatos to 5 goals.

Zagorski. A little irony here when the Italian looking Bookie ran the non Italian Goalie of Team Italy. The Bulk of the scoring for the Reds came from 2 guys. Duffer GOD Bobby Fetting scored a Hat trick, as did Jimmy "Rags" Ragland. Tommy Z scored the other goal to give the Reds a 7-5 Meaningless win. Beak's big butt provided a great screen for one of Rags' goals. The Brain would have whacked him, but he gave Beak a senior citizen discount. Thanks Brian! Brinks had the prettiest goal of the game when Stump (How did Boris, V-Man and Him get on Team Italy?) fired a cross ice pass to Donny G who feathered a beautiful pass to the tape of his Dad's stick. Brinks made a move that put Tweedy down and out as he tucked it in for the Meaningful game winner.

The Party

The biggest story of the day was the wonderful party that followed the game. The stands were filled with fans that were amazed by the site that they were watching. The Winter Classic from Fenway Park was playing on the big screens in the lobby, but these crazy fans chose to watch us. The food spread was better than anything you could get at the best "Chew and Choke" or "Dine and Dash" buffet restaurants. Thanks to all who contributed. And a big Thank You to Mike and Janine Oskroba, who spent their New Year's Eve at the rink setting up tables and hanging banners and posters. Thanks


	also to Grandpa Ken and Donna who stayed late to clean up the place. This was the biggest success we ever had. Basket Ball Jones would be proud.


	Thor brings a Crave Case


	Read this before you make any resolutions for the New Year


	HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. (Wally and the King used to preach this heart beat theory in the 80s)____________________________________ Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. ____________________________________ Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! The Duffer Motto (A drinking team with a hockey problem)____________________________________ Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. ____________________________________ Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good ____________________________________ Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? ____________________________________ Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. ____________________________________ Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! ____________________________________ Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. ___________________________________ Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! (The King used to say, "I'm in shape for what I do!") ____________________________________ Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chocolate in one hand - Martini in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride----------