Duffer Hockey News for January 15, 2010

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This week's song is "Sweet Home Chicago"


	Duffer News


	Bobka Factor Lifts The Whites to a Win!

Romeoville, IL 01/08/10 10 Points for Mini Wheezer!
Attendance 20

The turnout was better than expected with the snow and cold temperatures. (Mini Wheezer invited Zack to boost the numbers and Beak offered his grandson Jeff a cash incentive to get us up to 2 forward lines) although each team had to rotate 3 defensemen. The sides looked pretty even when the game started, but who would have expected Mini Wheezer to be the guy to throw the balanced teams out of whack? He set up Magoo's opening goal, then scored 2 quick goals before the Whites knew what hit them. Thor scored on a nice pass from Donny G to tie the Meaningful game at 1-1, but Big Buff took the lead right back with a rebound goal that gave the Reds a 2-1 lead that lasted until Brinks crashed


	Mini Wheezer bags 5 goals and 5 assists


	the net with his stick on the ice. His son fired a bullet pass that hit his stick and deflected past the Anvil. Mini Wheezer picked up his Hat Trick to give the Reds a 5-2 Meaningless lead. Fred "Fruitcake" Bobka* blew the game open when he walked in and one timed a beautiful pass from Brinks. That was the White's third goal, and it counted for 9 when the Bobka Factor was applied. (3 squared is 9! See page 2 for a reprint of the complete Bobka Factor) Donny added a goal of his own to make it 5-4 without the Bobka Factor, but Mini Wheezer was not done as he added 2 more to put a 7 on the board. Donny wanted the Bobka score posted on the score board, but the calculations weren't confirmed. Tommy Z soften up the Anvil with a face mask blast that stunned Eddie just minutes after The Brain was dropped by a shot to the ribs. Tommy scored the 5th White goal, but Zack added one for the Reds. Jeff was well behaved and did not score a goal in the first 2 periods, although he did get robbed twice and hit some iron. His youthful exuberance took over in the third period as he scored a few meaningless goals when he found out the Reds were down 14 to 9 with the Bobka factor. The final scores were: Whites 3, Reds 2 (Meaningful) Whites 14, Reds 11 (Bobka factor enhanced) Reds 11, Whites 5 (Meaningless)


	*All you young hockey players out there remember to keep your stick on the ice and good things will happen and you will be a happy human.


	Beer and Ice cream, Yum!


	The Bobka Factor ************************************************* The following is a reprint from a 1982 Duffer Newsletter: Dear Duffer advisor: I am a new member and I am confused about the scoring system used by the Duffers. Last week, the team that I was on won by a score of 12-4 but all of my teammates had their heads down after the game mumbling while our opponents were slapping hands and boasting about their victory using the Bobka Factor.** Please explain. Confused Duffer Dear Confused, The Mathematical formula for the Bobka Factor is simple: LG = Legitimate goals by Bobka's Opponents. (Goals scored while Bobka was off the ice) TG = Tainted Goals by Bobka's opponents. (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense) Lg = Legitimate goals by Bobka's team (Goals scored while Bobka was off the ice) bg = Bonus Goals by Bobka's team. (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense) BOS = Bobka's opponent score BTS = Bobka's team score Now let's use the game you spoke of as an example. Digital Dan's data shows 10 of your goals were tainted (Goals scored while Bobka was on Defense) therefore, you only have 2 Legitimate goals. Plug this information into the formula, and you get the following: 2=LG 10+TG The Square root of 10 is 3.1622776 + 2= 5.1622776 is the BOS Bobka's team had 2 Bonus goals because they scored with Fred on the ice. Their score is figured as follows: 2 BG = 4 + 2Lg = 6 (Bobka's team score) Sorry, you lost a heartbreaker by .8377224 of a goal. Now you can see why your team was a bunch of dejected, disgusted Duffers? You lost a heart breaker to Bobka* by the score of 6 to 5.1622776 *Bobka is the Polish word for fruit bread or Fruitcake.