Duffers Summer Hockey News

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	Duffer News


	Lunch with the Mazzarellas!

Westmont, IL
5/25/2011
Attendance: 6
Lunch Attracts Five Duffers and a Wife!

Usually we have a Picnic Committee Meeting to hand out duties, but this year, time is slipping away and nobody was interested in hosting a meeting. We thought we could get things done at Wild Wings on June 10th after our June game. The Czar agreed, so be there. We had a fun filled lunch again at the Neutral Zone. Beak flashed a picture of the hot looking dermatologist that he has an appointment with next week. Boris asked if it was an annual skin screening, Beak said, "I don't think so since it is the first one


	(Left to right) Frank, Klinger, Papa Joe, Mrs. Mazzarella, and Hacksaw


	in 71 years." Beak saw her picture on ZocDoc and made an appointment immediately. His wife asked him why he picked a doctor way up in Northbrook. He told her that she had 5 star ratings and the doctors closer to home looked strange. He stopped short of using the 3 letter F word that cost the Bulls' Noha $50,000. What ever happened to freedom of speech? Why can't you call a drunken bum a fag after he just called your mother a slut? I digress. Beak went on to tell about his dream of his skin screening with the hot doctor. She gave him a painless shot and he closed his eyes for a moment, when he opened his eyes, a strange looking male doctor was smiling at him. We ordered our drinks and Papa Joe ordered a glass of wine for his wife. He got accused of trying to get her drunk so that he could take advantage of her later. When we got the bill, Frank our lunch accountant did the math for us and Papa Joe asked why we never gave Frank an accountant type nickname. Beak said, "How about Madoff?" Everyone laughed and thought that that might work. When we went outside, there was a thirty something MILF outside with a cute little baby that caught Hacksaw's eye. He came up with his best 3 beer line. He asked her if that was her grandchild! She was deeply hurt and said, "That is my baby, I just turned 40." Don't drink and talk to MILFs. Beak tried to soothe the hurt MILF's feelings by telling her he had a granddaughter her age and Boris was a senile, over served confused old man. She smiled, hugged him and said thanks. All you "Chick Magnet" wannabes take note.

Picnic Meeting will be at Wild Wings on June 10

Be there or get a job that no one else wants.


	Papa and Beak display their fancy Pittsburgh Tee shirts.

2009 Picnic Duties
Klinger picked up the Grill and beer and delivered it at 10:20
Stump brought 40 pounds of Roma sausage and 4 pounds of beef
Grandpa Ken brought 25 bags of ice at 10:30 and helped unload the truck
Tommy Z brought 4 bags of charcoal
Bill "Maestro" Conti brought a case of corn with 2 pounds of butter
V-Man brought 60 feet of delicious bread
Beak brought 48 dogs, buns, condiments and bug spray that only repelled Kate
Mini Wheezer brought Jardinière, Onions and Green Peppers
Tom Ambrosia brought the Pop (4 Cases), Water (2 Cases) and Bag Toss (2)
Franek brought the Paper Products
Art brought some great home made desserts
Rich Storm brought the Meaningless Trophy that Perry was looking for
Johnny Z sent some Kid's toys
Boris got the Permit from Evie Brinks supplied the beer

2010 Picnic Duties

Mini Wheezer picked up the Grill and beer
Stump brought 30 pounds of Roma sausage and 5 pounds of beef
Joe Evans brought 10 bags of ice
Geno Brought 5 bags of ice
Tommy Z brought 4 bags of charcoal and 5 bags of ice
Bill "Maestro" Conti brought a case of corn with 2 pounds of butter

V-Man brought 60 feet of delicious bread

Beak brought charcoal lighter, extension cord, butter can and awards
Bill By The Way brought Jardinière, Onions and Green Peppers
Tom Ambrosia brought the Pop (4 Cases), Water (2 Cases) and Bag Toss (2)
Franek brought the Paper Products
Terry Brought the hot dogs, buns and condiments
Rich Storm brought the Meaningless Trophy
Boris got the Permit from Evie
Brinks supplied the beer
Rags brought Cub and Sox Cupcakes

Check out the latest entries in the Duffer's History page and e-mail updates to Beak.

Papa Joe's wife, Dee, chose not to be on the Duffer's web page after 2 sips of wine	Papa Joe did his best imitation of The Duffer Superman when he ripped open his shirt and exposed his Pittsburgh Shirt.
Beak always has a clean Pittsburgh shirt in the drawer	Our only lunch at "This Must Be The Place"
Our lunch at Nicks with Brandi Wheezer visits the Zone	Our Kirk Douglas Look alike has been missing from lunch. These are the guys who were still awake after watching the 2 hour Pittsburgh DVD. Looks like the Anvil is dozing.
Lunch at Maxum's was a bust. (We didn't see any)	Beak's Dermatologist. He already has 1 volunteer to ride with him to his appointment.
	Bill "Maestro" Conti will bring a case of corn with 2 pounds of butter.
Drago must bring the Klinger Crash Award back to the Picnic Meeting on June 10.	Bill By The Way must return the Next Generation Meaningless Trophy at Wild Wings on June 10.
Mini-Wheezer must show up to return his Tim Smith Perfect Attendance Award Plaque on June 10.	These lucky guys have been slapped with mandatory attendance on June 10.
Koss has to show up to receive his Pittsburgh DVD	V-Man will bring 60 feet of delicious bread

Terry will bring the hot dogs, buns and condiments	"I get no respect" Bill By The Way will be asked to bring Jardinière, Onions and Green Peppers.
The Bookie will be asked to bring something, maybe ice.	Dr. Evil got us the Picnic permit again this year.
Eddie will bring Elton	Stump will bring the Meat
Thor will Bring the sign and some ice	Will bring some ice and coolers
Beak will bring the charcoal lighter, extension cord, butter can, broom and Klinger Krash award.	Rags will bring some Treats