US Robotics used to give free pages when
you bought a modem from them, then they ended the program and all of my pages
were lost. I started using Geocities in the late 1990s, but they are
closing that program, so I have rescued my pages to lopatka.net. This page
goes up to March 1999. Geocities2
goes to August 1999 and Geocities 3 goes
to January 2000. Geocities4 has the
recovered the early 2000 pages.
September
10, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 27
The
Duffers met at Famous Dave's to wish Boris the best on his
retirement.
Famous
Dave's is a manly restaurant with all kinds of dead animals on
the walls.
Beak
passed out work assignments for Cammi's charity hockey game. 25
Duffers and Duffer wives volunteered their time to help the
event raise thousands of dollars for Cammi Granato's Golden
Dreams For Children Foundation.
Cammi
spent the evening scoring goals(3) and making dreams come true
for many children.
Cammi's
Mom, Dad, Sister and brothers pitched in to help out.
Rob
scored a beautiful goal as he beat Murry Bannerman.
September 24, 1999 Reporters***Rich Storm***Cammi Granato Duffer
Home Page
Did you ever wonder why we call Bill,
Klinger? Rich Storm is back from Vacation. He just sent this
one in to give you a clue
Tropical Storm, Harvey "The Flower" returned with a goal on
his first shift to give Eddie the Anvil and the Blues a 1-0 meaningful
win. The meaningless game was no contest as the Blues showed no
mercy. The King went down and blocked a shot, just like you see on
TV.
November 12 November 26 December 10
December 17 ***Peoria
Road trips
December 31, ********************Duffer Y2K Party
January 8, 12 or 22, ***************San Jose.
Pending low air fair.
DUFFER NEWS
October 1 ,1999
We
could use the above picture for the
Kings
Meaningless trophy
Bill Allen
came out late as usual and the location of the White (Home Team) bench which is
closest to the locker room, gives the home team a real advantage. They get the
first right of refusal, which means that Alien doesn’t need a White jersey
ever! Bill put on a blue jersey then promptly scored a first period goal.
Brinks Granato scored a goal in the second period to save the day for the
Whites, then he bought everyone a Strohs after the game. Thanks Don!!
The meaningful score stayed at 1-1 as the meaningless contest really heated up
with a pair of goals by Stump and Tweedy for the Home team, while Butt head and
Berserk kept the Blues in the game. Doc ended the suspense when he beat
the Anvil in the final minute of the game for a 6-4 win for the Ghost and the
Whites.
Correction!
Add 57 goals to the Final score
Last
week we reported that Harvey had the only meaningful goal, but Fred scored the
8th goal of the game and it was completely forgoten. How could Beak forget
a Bobka factor goal, that calculates out to a score of 64 (8 squared)? You
have to know Beak to answer this question. If he is on the ice, he usually
sees the goals and remembers some of them in. If he is on the bench, he is
busy telling stories, so you have to go to Henrys’after the game and enter the
goal into the virtual reality section of his brain. then it will show up
in a newsletter. That is how Beak found out about the Bobka goal.
Cougenhour poured Beak a tall one and said, “Hey! you really got Fruit Cake
mad today when you didn’t mention his goal.”
So
if you want to see your name in the Duffer News and on the Duffer Web
page, you know what to do. Show up at Henrys’, get Beak a glass and
start pouring. You don’t have to buy a beer any more, so it is easy.
Speaking of easy, we have quite a sum of left over money from overpayments.
Regulars at Henrys’ may have enough for a trip to Peoria soon.
The Tweedy shed party on Sunday October 3, is
hinging on the weather. Call before you come out at 10:00.
October 1, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm
Volume V Issue 31
Anvil Gets
Busted in Mayberry!
The Anvil spent the night in the
Mayberry lock up
last
week with Otis. He was charged with creating
a
disturbance in the town bar.
Whites
Beat Blues in a Thriller
One of the strangest games in Duffer
History took place last week as Stump was forced to fill in for “The
Anvil”, who was detained in Mayberry. The Blues jumped all
over the Whites and peppered Stump with shot after shot until Tom Morgan
scored on their first shift.
The Blues took 10 minutes to get into
the Blues’ zone. The score was quickly 2-0 when the King
negotiated a mid-period trade. He sent Magoo to the Blues for Tom
Morgan.
The trade stopped the scoring
and it looked like the final score would be 2-0, when Drano carried the
puck into the Blue zone and slowed things down to a crawl. Gary
“The Ghost” waited patiently for Tim to do something. Tim looked
left, then he looked right and there were no meaningful players to pass
to, so he just fired the puck past the sleepy goalie to make the score
2-1.
Thor Miller tied the game with a 3rd
period goal that was set up by the newly acquired Morgan. Tommy went
on to score the go head goal for the Whites. Doc sealed the game
with a late goal to give the Whites a 4-2 meaningless win and a 1-0
meaningful win.
Duffer History
5 years ago we added 5 single
NYPDs to our roster. Meaningless scoring system was born. They
are all married now.
15 years ago Bowling for
panties was introduced on October 13, 1984.
17 years ago Bobka Factor
was developed and Wally acquires a new nick name when he engages in
fisticuffs on the East-West Toll way. He only told one guy and he
was greeted by the theme from Rocky every Friday night as he entered the
locker room.
20 years ago Duffers invaded Florida
and were featured on the 10 O'clock News.
New Socks are Here!
Put them on. Give your
old ones to Good Will! The Duffers pride themselves on looking
sharp. The King has decreed, "No more sweat pants or other ugly
leg wear."
October 8, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm
Volume V Issue 32
Miller Lite Bags
2 Meaningful Assists
Blues
Beat the Whites
Thor Miller’s SOD (Son Of a
Duffer), Miller Lite, had his greatest day as a Duffer. He first
started a beautiful play where Hitman teamed up with him to set up
Beernuts for the first goal of the game. On the next shift he set up
Hitman for a 2-0 meaningful lead. Beernuts later returned the favor
and set up Miller-Lite. Papa Thor capped the scoring for the
Blues to give them a 3-0 meaningful win. Tommy Z and Boris got an
assist on that one. Boris later picked up 2 more assists at Henerys’
(See the picture below.)
Harvey provided the biggest laugh of the night when
he picked off a pass in mid air and deflected it right to his head.
You may recall that Harvey shattered a puck with a slap shot a few
years ago.
Wally World
Beak is in South Carolina this week
conducting a GLOBE workshop. He
will visiting one of the Duffer Founding Fathers, Wally Kraft. They
hope to see the Charleston Chiefs in action.
Duffer Reporter Rich Storm
will be writing the Duffer News this week. Be good to him and pour
him a beer at Henerys’ if you want to see your name in print. Any
one else is welcome to contribute articles for the October 22 Newsletter.
Just E-mail Beak your story before Wednesday.
New
Socks Were Ordered!
Tom
said that they should be in any day now. Be patient, good things
come to those that wait.
Put them on. Give your
old ones to Good Will! The Duffers pride themselves on looking
sharp. The King has decreed, "No more sweat pants or other ugly
leg wear."
The
Peoria Rivermen, coached by Don Granato won their first exhibition game 7-6 as
they downed the team from Quad Cities. Their season opener is tonight.
You can see them play the Dayton Bombers Tomorrow.
Peoria Road Trips
11/12-14,
11/26-28 12/10-13, 12/17-19
November 12 Peoria Trip
Dec.31 Y2K Party
January 8, 15, or 22 San Jose Trip
Who can get a good air fair?
The
Tweedy shed building party lasted 2 days. There is still enough beer
left over to have a painting party. Call
Tweedy for details.
October 15, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm
Volume V Issue 33
Blues Double the
Whites
Their was some concern on the blue bench
before the game, that they wouldn’t have enough guns to compete with a
stocked white team of Kenny, Tommy, and Johnny. But, Uncle Bob removed
any doubt that the Blue team would be able to compete. In first appearance
of the season, U.B. slipped two meaningless goals past The Ghost, as the
Blues opened up to a 5-1 lead in the first period. The White team
managed to cut the deficit in the second period on a meaningful goal by Thor
Miller and two meaningless goals by Kenny. But at the start of the
third period, the flood gates opened, and The whites began pulling away and
finished the game 10-5. Report by Rich Storm. White Scoring Summary Thor Miller Kenny 2 Tommy Z Klinger *(Blue Goal) Blue Non-Scoring Summary The Anvil
Boris
dives into a hot pizza, while Rich Storm,
Doc
and Frank wait patiently.
The
Peoria Rivermen won both their home games this past weekend to begin the
1999-2000 season in style at 2-0-0, but lost Bret Meyers for the season and
Darin Kimble for a few weeks. Already on the IR were Darren Maloney, who
should return for this weekend's pair of games, Kenzie Homer, and Trevor
Baker. The Rivermen may be a little down, but the team is going about
business as usual. Coach Granato is confident his team will be ready for this weekend's games at Toledo
and Huntington. The Rivermen are off until a
Saturday date in Toledo. The next Rivermen home game is on Friday, October
29 against Louisiana. Who Wants to Go?
The Rest of The Story
The
phone has been ringing all day, since the fax went out! Rich Storm has
been accused of yellow journalism after his story went out over the phone
lines. What did he do? He
forgot to give the meaningful score.
He didn’t mention a goal by The Alien. That is understandable.
You all have been warned that if you don’t come over to Henry’s and pour
the writer a beer, your goals might be forgotten when the article is
written. That method doesn’t always work because if you pour too
many beers, the article might be all fiction mixed with Duffer Virtual
Reality when the author sobers up. The only sure way to get your
achievements into the Duffer News is to E-Mail your message to: lopatka@ix.netcom.com
before Tuesday. Alien’s goal would have given the
Blues a Meaningful tie. Dill Deau made his first appearance
since our Peoria trip last Easter. That is a news worthy story right
there because it is hard to come up with a headline that beats a Dill Deau
line, but Dill was missing Tweedy set-ups all night long. Then it
happened Dill misfired on a pass from Tweedy and it slid harmlessly toward
the Ghost, who was ready with his big stick on the ice. Just when the
puck was about to hit the bottom of the Ghost’s stick, Tweedy gave the
knob a tug and the big paddle went up like a draw bridge and the puck went
under it and crossed the goal line for a meaningful goal. That Goal
gave the Blues a 2-1 Meaningful win.
Wally Kraft, shown here displaying the
last 25 issues of the Duffer News . Beak rewarded Wally for picking
him up at the Charleston airport. Wally’s son Brian is doing well.
Visit his web page at:
Put them on. Give your old
ones to Good Will! The Duffers pride themselves on looking sharp.
The King has decreed, "No more sweat pants or other ugly leg
wear."
October 29, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm
Volume V Issue 34
11 Weeks til San
Jose
Joe Mazz has a great
package deal for San Jose. We need 30 people to make a verbal commitment
now, followed by a $100 deposit. I have 17 Duffers plus Veto and his
Dad. Brinks has some nephews and cousins that would like to help us get
to our quota if we don’t have enough Duffers. Give Beak your answer,
Yes or No we can’t deal with May Be. Give the King your deposit.
$500 gets you:
Round trip Air
Fair
4 days , 3 nights at the
same luxury hotel
Rental Vans
1 Sharks Game
2
Duffer Games
Peoria Road Trip
The Week end of November 12-14, will give you
a chance to get in shape for Thanksgiving. (2 Games in 24 hours.)
Here is the deal. Friday November 12th, we play a Duffer game at home.
Saturday afternoon, we play a game in Peoria. We have a team meal at the
Brewery watch Donny’s Rivermen play at 7:30 and return home on Sunday the
14th. We will travel with vans and cars, unless we get 20 or more, we
will get a coach. Cost should be minimal. (1 night in a motel)
We need a count now so that we can order you a
room.
Bobka
Scores 2
Bobka scored 2 goals
last Friday, when he tipped a Tommy Z shot past his own goalie. He also
scored the first meaningful goal for his team. The beauty of the Bobka
factor was demonstrated as his first goal only counted as 1. (The Square
of 1 is 1) Tommy’s goal was tainted so it only made the score 1.41 (the
Square root of 2) instead of 2-1. Thor and Hacksaw tallied Meaningful
goals for the Blues and Harvey scored one for the Whites to give the Whites a
2-2 tie!
Do you need a reason to go to San
Jose? Visit the 9 Duffer San Jose Web Sites! Start with the following
URL:
Put them on. Give your old
ones to Good Will! The Duffers pride themselves on looking sharp.
The King has decreed, "No more sweat pants or other ugly leg
wear."
November 5, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm
Volume V Issue 35
Ghost Busters
Dill Deau and
Hitman
Dill
Deau and Hitman busted Gary the Ghost for a 2-0 meaningful lead. Brinks
(Thanks for the Beer) took an off side pass from the Alien, then accepted a
pass from referees, Agi and Larry, before he walked in and scored on the
Anvil. The meaningful contest looked like it would end that way until
the closing minutes of the game when Beak, Thor and GOD Mike Lopatka had a
shift that pinned the Blues in their own end for 2 minutes. Tommy Z and
Mike Lopatka set up his Grandpa Beak for the Game tying goal. The Anvil
made a nice save on Beak’s shot, but he couldn’t stop the rebound that
Beak poked in with the point of his stick.
The
Blues won the meaningless contest with a couple of goals by Knarf's Grandson
Bob. Beak’s Grandson Mike scored the first meaningless goal for the
Whites.
Duffer GOD, Mike Lopatka, went on to score the
winning goal for Downers Grove South High School on Sunday night!
Peoria
Road Trip
13, we will meet at
the Holiday Inn on Highway 83, just south of I-55. (There is a
Denny’s next door if you want breakfast) We will leave at 9:00 AM so that we
can play at 12:30 PM. in the Civic Center Rink. We will have a meal,
then return to the rink for the Rivermen’s Game. We will stay at the
Holiday Inn, have Breakfast and return home on Sunday.
Directions
to the Peoria Civic Center:
Take
I-55 and go Southwest for 106 miles. Take I-74 and go West for 34.7 miles.
Exit on IL-40, (Civic Center exit) Knoxville Ave. and go North for
3.1 miles. Total trip is about 150 miles
(I-55
has construction you may want to find a better route)
Stump
Crushes Thor
The biggest story
of the game was the action in the corner. Stump was being his usual pain
in the butt to Thor when Beak left his feet and checked Stump into Thor.
Thor went down with Stump on top. It was a site to see all 3 players in
a pile on the ice.
Are you having a Stump problem?
You can buy this Stump grinder for only $8,000
San
Jose is Cloudy
Our clout in San
Jose has dried up. Stay tuned.
Go
to Peoria, that is for sure!
Joe
Mazz has a great package deal for San Jose. We need 30 people to make a
verbal commitment now, followed by a $100 deposit. I have 17 Duffers
plus Veto and his Dad. Brinks has some nephews and cousins that would
like to help us get to our quota if we don’t have enough Duffers. Give
Beak your answer, Yes or No we can’t deal with May Be. Give the King
your deposit. $500 gets you:
Round
trip Air Fair
4 days , 3 nights
at the same luxury hotel
Rental
Vans
1 Sharks Game
2 Duffer Games (We don't know if we can get ice)
Do
you need a reason to go to San Jose? Visit the 9 Duffer San Jose Web
Sites! Start with the following URL:
November
12, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 36
Brinks Bags 3
I am waiting for Duffer
reporters to send in their account. All I know is Brinks Granato scored
3 goals for the White guys while Magoo scored one for someone. Last
week, we reported how Thor, Beak and Stump were hit by a "Gravity
Storm"*. This week, The Anvil suffered a Gravity Storm caused by
MF. It knocked him into the net with the puck for a meaningless goal.
*You can find out more about a
Gravity Storm by listening to
Jimmy
Buffett's CD titled "Off To See The Lizard"
We all learn early that when you
mess with Gravity, you lose!
Beak got to Henry's early after
entertaining 40 Bativia kids with a view of Jupiter in his telescope. He
sat all alone with a pitcher waiting for the rest of the team to show up.
No one told him that they changed restaurants. After singing 3 Jimmy
Buffett songs and running out of beer, he was about to go home when Cougenhour
saved the day!
Fortunately Butt Head and Doc
showed and they were able to hunt down the team in the family restaurant next
door.
This Report just came in!
The Blue team should have purchased
the Stump grinder last week, because Stump was on his game last Friday,
helping the White's to a rare Meaningful / Meaningless combination victory.
Johnny Z got the Meaningless scoring started for the White's when he slipped
one past the Anvil very early in
the
1st period. Number Seven was inspired by something. After the
first goal, Don Granato carried the white team, with the first Meaningful hat
trick since last spring. The first two were easy and obviously flustered
the blue team. His final goal of the night was interrupted by a couple
of meaningless goals from Fetting and somebody else I can't remember, who
didn't pour Rich Storm a beer. Special accolades go out to Thor
Miller who contributed in his own way. (by pouring the reporters a beer)
With his son not skating, Miller was able to concentrate his efforts into
helping
his
team, as opposed to chasing his son, with the empty hopes of knocking him off
his stride. The result of his effort was 3 assists, 2 meaningful and one
meaningless.
With the score 6-0 going into the 3rd period. The only one to point out
Stump's shutout was his center, King Kong Zagorski. Stump assured him
the shutout wouldn't last past the first two minutes. Hitman was pleased to
oblige Stump by narrowing the Meaningful margin 3-1. The Blues had 4
unanswered goals in the final
period from the sticks of Berzerk, Cough-an- hour, and another Meaningful by
Klinger, who used a couple screens to his advantage from the slot.
With no scoring from the White team in the third period, the highlight for
them came when the King had to cover for his aggressive partner on defense,
(son of knarf). The Doc was moving in on a break-away when The King
sacrificed his body. The result was the best hit this reporter has seen
since Thor, Beak and Stump were hit by a
"Gravity Storm" The Doc managed
to get his skates over his own head and come down before the final buzzer
sounded. That was a Class
5 Gravity Storm.
Final
Meaningful Meaningless Totals
Whites 3
3
6
Blues
2
2
4
- Rich
Storm
From:
M Presecky mpreseck@sprynet.com
Don't forget Tuesday.
"Live, Tuesday's, Thursday's, & Saturday's" goes on sale for
Less than $10.00 @ Best Buy
This Limo should be big enough to take
our team to Peoria!
Peoria
Road Trip
Saturday
November 13, we will meet at the Holiday Inn on Highway 83, just south
of I-55. (There is a Denny’s next door if you want breakfast) We will
leave at 9:00 AM so that we can play at 12:30 PM. in the Civic Center Rink.
We will have a meal, then return to the rink for the Rivermen’s Game.
We will stay at the Holiday Inn, have Breakfast and return home on Sunday.
Directions to the Peoria
Civic Center:
Take
I-55 and go Southwest for 106 miles. Take I-74 and go West for 34.7 miles.
Exit on IL-40, (Civic Center exit) Knoxville Ave. and go North for
3.1 miles. Total trip is about 150 miles
Apollo 17 astronaut Harrison
Schmitt standing next to a boulder at Taurus-Littrow during third EVA, looks
like Boris by that bolder on the Pacific ocean.
Get to work on this one Rich Storm!
San
Jose is Cloudy
Our
clout in San Jose has dried up. Stay tuned.
Go
to Peoria, that is for sure!
Joe
Mazz has a great package deal for San Jose. We need 30 people to make a
verbal commitment now, followed by a $100 deposit. I have 17 Duffers
plus Veto and his Dad. Brinks has some nephews and cousins that would
like to help us get to our quota if we don't have enough Duffers. Give
Beak your answer, Yes or No we can't deal with May Be. Give the King
your deposit. $500 gets you:
Round
trip Air Fair
4 days , 3 nights
at the same luxury hotel
Rental
Vans
1 Sharks Game
2 Duffer Games (We don't know if we can get ice)
Do
you need a reason to go to San Jose? Visit the 9 Duffer San Jose Web
Sites! Start with the following URL:
November
19, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 37
The guy in the Blue Guest Sweater is 5
years older than Papa Joe!
When is the next Peoria trip?
Best Friday just got better we now
have the opportunity to skate on Thursday morning at 9:00 (Thanksgiving),
skate again Friday at our usual time and then play a game in the early
afternoon in the Peoria Civic Center on Saturday Morning. You can't beat
that for a weekend?
What
Happened in Peoria?
So
many things happened in one day it would be impossible for me to put together
a 5 page newsletter in time for Friday, so these are some highlights that you
can ask about when you go in the bar. This is the first road trip that I
never turned on the TV. After skating, eating and going to the Rivermen game
it was three o'clock in the morning and time to get some sleep.
.
Beer nuts made a friend in the party box and he invited all of
the Duffers to get free beer, food and snacks. What a country ! If
you have a half-hour, ask Beer nuts to tell you about his cell phone story and
the sky box story but since you know about the sky box story already, you can
just do what Brinks did. Hold up your hand and say, "Beak told me
all about it, save your breath. " You can also ask Beer nuts about Stacy
and having his zipper open.
The duffer game was the greatest!
We had of bunch of guys from Peoria that were not only our age but where equal
in ability. There was a guy named Pete who was born in 1925 and when we
mentioned Jimmy Buffett, his head snapped around and he started singing a
Jimmy Buffett tune.
Things
to ask about?
The hot tub
Cough an hour’s Dog
What Pete was doing in 1940
What Harvey was doing in 1940
Harvey walking to the hotel with his
hockey bag
Bob Plager Stories
Wedding ring
Glenn
Hall's barn
Bob
Plager’s book
Rubbers
in Toronto
Nine
inches and hurt
Glenn Halls game preparation
The big game
Eddie
the Anvil was outstanding! The Peoria goalie was having a bad day, as Harvey
and the Hit man scored on him. Those are the only meaningful goals that
I can remember but there were a lot more meaningless scores. Some Duffers were
worried that I would forget Friday's practice game and they were right, but
Papa Joe reminded me that he scored a meaningful goal. He also reminded
me that Fruit bread scored two for the blues. Stump had a great game
with the shutout going down to the final minutes when Tweedy spoiled it with a
shot off of the center post that whent in and out.
Bob Plager
After
the Rivermen game, we went down to the hospitality room and had a couple of
beers. Coach Granato was talking to chief scout of the St. Louis Blues,
Bob Plager, when he called Beak over to join in the conversation. Donny
introduced Beak as the chief editor of the Duffer News. Bob Plager then asked
what he had to do to get his name in the Duffer News. Beak said,
"that's easy! You're 57 years old, just score a goal and you're in the
news or you can do something stupid.
The Scout replied, "Oh that's
easy, just follow me around tonight and you will have plenty of things for the
news. Beak said, "good, I got my digital camera let's go!" Bob
said, “ Oh no! No cameras allowed, I'm still married. Beak
called Beer nuts, Hit man, and Son of Frank over to join in on the stories.
After an hour of storytelling and jokes, Coach Granato and his wife led them
to Skulleys bar and grill where there were 65 - 70 people waiting outside in
line. Donny went to the doorman and they were waived in to an empty
table. Bob continued to tell stories until three in the morning.
Son of Knarf was amazed as Beak and Beer nuts were quiet for hours.
We had a nice locker room to dress
in. We had padded chairs, big
hot
tub and plenty of
room for our clothes.
The Next Peoria Road Trip
Saturday November 27, we will meet
at the Holiday Inn on Highway 83, just south of I-55. (There is a
Denny’s next door if you want breakfast) We will leave at 9:00 AM so that we
can play at 12:30 PM. in the Civic Center Rink. We will have a meal,
then return to the rink for the Rivermen’s Game. We will stay at the
Holiday Inn, have Breakfast and return home on Sunday.
Directions
to the Peoria Civic Center:
Take
I-55 and go Southwest for 106 miles. Take I-74 and go West for 34.7 miles.
Exit on IL-40, (Civic Center exit #94) Knoxville Ave. and go North for
3.1 miles. Total trip is about 150 miles
Who
Needs San Jose when you can go to Peoria!
Our
clout in San Jose has dried up. Stay tuned.
Visit the 9 Duffer San
Jose Web Sites! Start with the following URL:
November
25, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 38
Rich Storm sent this warning.
Harvey better get a haircut before our 2010 Road Trip.
The Rivermen have been hit by injuries so Coach
Granato had to call on Wheezer to fill the roll of enforcer.
When is the next Peoria trip?
Best Friday just got better we now
have the opportunity to skate on Thursday morning at 9:00 (Thanksgiving) skate
again Friday at our usual time and then play a game in the early afternoon in
the Peoria Civic Center on Saturday Morning. (November 27) You can't beat that
for a weekend?
Duffer Referee in Chief, Agi, accused
the Duffer News of tactics used by scandal papers that get you to buy their
sleazy paper in the supper market check out line. She wanted to know all
about Beer nuts, Stacy and the open Zipper. The following cartoon will explain
Stacy. The open zipper was on his hockey bag. Sorry if you were
disappointed!
Friday's Game
Eddie
the Anvil was still hot from his Peoria experience and Gary the Ghost was in
for a long night when Fruit Bread scored on him in the first period.
Eddie made a great stop on Magoo and then Thor and Brinks put the game out of
reach with meaningful tallies. Meaningful score:
Whites 3, Blues 0
The Next Peoria Road Trip
Saturday November 27, we will meet
at the Holiday Inn on Highway 83, just south of I-55. (There is a
Denny’s next door if you want breakfast) We will leave at 9:00 AM so that we
can play at 12:30 PM. in the Civic Center Rink. We will have a meal,
then return to the rink for the Rivermen’s Game. We will stay at the
Holiday Inn, have Breakfast and return home on Sunday.
Directions
to the Peoria Civic Center:
Take
I-55 and go Southwest for 106 miles. Take I-74 and go West for 34.7 miles.
Exit on IL-40, (Civic Center exit #94) Knoxville Ave. and go North for
3.1 miles. Total trip is about 150 miles
San
Jose trip is dead!
Our
clout in San Jose has dried up. Stay tuned.
Let's
go to Hayward in March!
Visit the 9 Duffer San
Jose Web Sites! Start with the following URL:
December
3, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 39
Don Granato sent this warning.
"Get 20 guys for your next Road Trip!"
Coach Granato gives the King his order. Beer
Nuts enjoys his own personal locker.
Hacksaw and Knarf try to muster enough energy to
play their 3rd game in a 50 hour period.
Brinks has the Quote of the week. He told
Cammi "The Duffers have me playing games on Thursday, Friday and
Saturday. Are you coming to my funeral on Sunday?"
Beer Nuts works out with the weights before the game
Wheezer waits for Harvey. Too
many Beers to choose from.
The
Peoria Duffers enjoy reading the Duffer News.
The
Duffers share a few stories with old friends.
Harvey's
first Dove bar.
Wheezer
takes in the view. Coach
Granato with the Sunday paper.
The Next Peoria Road Trip
Saturday December 18, we will try
to have an Old fashioned Duffer Road trip. (A bus full of hockey
players with no dogs, kids, wives or girl friends) Coach Granato
declared a 20 Duffer minimum. He can't understand how we can get 35
guys to spend $550 to see Tony and we can only find 10 or 12 guys with
$68.00 to play on his ice. He put a bounty on the Duffers. If we
can't get 20 guys to come down, the trip is canceled. Some of he
Peoria Duffers offered to drive up here and play on Friday night, then help
us fill our 20 man minimum if we can't get enough participation.
We will meet at the Holiday Inn
on Highway 83, just south of I-55. (There is a Denny’s next door if
you want breakfast) We will leave at 9:00 AM so that we can play at 12:30
PM. in the Civic Center Rink. We will have a meal, then return to the
rink for the Rivermen’s Game. We will stay at the Holiday Inn, have
Breakfast and return home on Sunday.
The Peoria
Rivermen beat the Generals 7-4 in a penalty filled game. An hour long
first period, marred by 141 penalty minutes put the King to sleep.
After
the game, the Duffers had a night cap at Bennigans.
Sunday Morning, the Duffers passed up a chance to
skate again and went to the fitness center instead, but no one had a key so
they went to breakfast. Wheezer passed up an opportunity to go to
church with Brinks because the Catholic mass was too much work.
"They make you stand up, sit down and kneel. I would go if they
would just let you sit there. That is too much work!"
Let's go
to Hayward in March!
We
may be able to fill a bus with some of our Peoria team mates!
Visit the 9 Duffer San
Jose Web Sites! Start with the following URL:
Magoo and Wheezer scored, but that is all
I can remember. E-mail me lopatka@ix.netcom.com
November 26
8:20 PM Saints Game
Blues 2 (Harvey and Alien) Whites 1
(Beak)
November 27
12:30 PM Peoria Game
Granato had 2 for the Whites Peoria's Emo
had one or two for the Blues. There were a lot of meaningless goals
that didn't register. Peoria's Art had some of those.
Dec.
31 Y2K Party
We
now have the Ice rink reserved for a New year's Eve party from 8:30 PM.
until ? Now all we have to know is how many
people will show up. We will have a family skate. There
will be a small charge to cover food and drinks. $10.00 saves you a
spot!
December
10, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 40
Duffer Advisor
There
were several request for a return of the Duffer Advisor, so here it is. Dear Duffer Advisor, I have had trouble getting away for a Duffer Road trip. Can you help? Tripless
Dear Tripless, Trade Offs! That’s the key. You
need to give your lady something of equal value. Some of you went home
and told her how much fun you had in San Jose, instead of telling her how
miserable you were without her. Big mistake! You know your lady
hates to see you have fun. (Ever wonder why she closes her eyes when you are
making love to her?) Now you have to pay. Offer her a trip
somewhere or tell her you voted to pass up the Duffer Y2K party because it
would have been too much fun per dollar. Promise to take her someplace
and spend $500 in exchange for a trip to Peoria on December 18th or January
27. Show her the expense graph below and remind her you will only be
away from home for one night and you will spend less than $100, unless you
go to the Casino and get lucky like UB, then you might make a profit.
(Which will go unreported so that you will have a slush fund to go to
Hayward)
Friday
12/10/99
The Ghost is on
suicide watch! He may never recover from the humiliating experience he
suffered on Friday. With the help of his defensemen, Stump, he
suffered shame that no other Duffer goalie has suffered in 29 years.
He gave up 4 meaningful goals. Fruit cake scored three and Harvey
scored 1. If that wasn’t bad enough, Koss also added a meaningless
hat trick. Meanwhile, Eddie “The Anvil” was having the game of his
life, until Magoo spoiled his shut out and Brinks added another to make the
final 4-2 in favor of the Blues.
Nick
Names
Our Peoria Duffers have been
enjoying the Duffer News on the internet, but they would like to know a
little about our names and how they were derived. Some names have a
story behind them, like Wheezer. He got his name after his first shift
when Beak asked him his name and he was wheezing so much, he couldn’t
answer. Some names are derived from their given name like Jerry
“Beer Nuts’ Biernat, Bob “Dill” Deau, Vidas “Formica” Cermarka,
Gary “Ghost” Kasper, Arvydas “Harvey” Dikinis, John “Hit man”
Heitman, Glen “Par 3” Oakes, Frank “Knarf” (Frank spelled
backwards)Presecky, Rich “Muzzie“ Masiulewicz, Dan “Maz”
Mazanec, Rick “Dizzy” Dzingel and Jerry “Scrotum” Oskroba.
Walter “Waju” Kraft and Fred “Fruit Cake” Bobka got their tags from
the Polish translation of their names.
Some Duffers get their names from what they do. Mike
“Capt Hook’ Spillman owns Split Second Towing, (630-969-2579)Ron
“Doc” Dubreuil is a professor at the University of Chicago, Keith
“Doc” Suchy is a Dentist, Tim “Drano” Staats is a plumber with a
teaching degree. Jim “The King” Miceli owns the Duffers while Paul
“Marsha” Novak is a lawyer and he got his name during the OJ trial.
Bob “Orion” Morgan is a hunter and Mike “The Nailer” DeVivo was a
roofer. Dan “Tweedy” Lopatka got his name when he was a 10 years
old referee for the Duffers. Chris “Woody” Mazurk works with wood,
although some say he was tagged in the shower as was Stump. Nick
“The Hammer” Brescia brought a hammer into the locker room and gave us
some inexpensive clothes hangers.
(16 penny nails.)
Association
The
following Duffers get their names from who they associate with: Tom “Butt
Head” Morgan hangs with Jim “Beavis” Coughenour. Joe “Cuzin
Joe” Gotfryd got his name when his cousin Tom “Slime Dog” Kowalkowski
brought him to the Duffers. Other family oriented names are Jerry
“Prince” Miceli (Son of The King), Mike “Son of Frank” Presecky, Bob
“Uncle Bob” Oskroba, Ken “Beak Jr.” Lopatka, Rob “Piggy Bank”
Granato is the son of Don “Brinks” Granato who got his name from his
kids. Whenever they asked for money, Don would say, “What do
you think I am? Brinks!”
Physiology
Greg
“Beak” Lopatka got tagged for his nose. Ken “Stump” Barczynski
was as high as he was wide when he joined the Duffers as a 16 year old
goalie. Jim “Titz” Michaelsen could fill out a DDD Bro-zier.
John “King Kong” Zagorski had his picture taken with ex-Black Hawk, King
Kong Korab, and was a head taller. John’s brother, Tom “Ahb”
Zagorski got his name by stuttering every time his parents asked an accusing
question, he would say, “Ahb, Ahb, Ahb. John “Magoo” Landry is
as blind as Mr. Magoo. Bill “Klinger” Giffune would have
been named Beak but that name was taken, so he was tagged Klinger since he
looked like the MASH star.
Behavior
Bruce
“Disco Bear” Schmitz danced his way to a name at a Duffer New Year’s
Eve party years ago. Boris “Hacksaw” Pavichevich exposed a 20 inch
scratch on his back when he removed his shirt. He got that when he
scratched his back with a hacksaw blade. John “Cry
Baby” Koss gets his name when he cries for more ice time. He was
called “Anti-Koss” last week when he complained about too much ice time.
Bill “Alien” Allen is out there, he has problems adjusting to planet
earth. Larry “Slot Machine” Hansen is a one armed bandit on the
ice. Ed “Anvil” Hawrysio. Bob “Geek” Friedlander, Joe
“Papa Joe” Mazzarella and Gene “Thor” Miller got their names for
obvious reasons!
Who OOWNNNS the Chiefs?
The
Next Peoria Road Trip
Saturday
December 18 is the next window of opprotunity. Maybe we should wait
until January 15 or maybe even the 28 and 29. That week end, the
Rivermen have a Friday and Saturday home game. Maybe we could get 20 guys
for a 2 night trip.
Papa "The Judge" Mazzarrella" is
pictured here with
the winning
Randolph school science fair contestant.
San
Jose trip is dead!
Our
clout in San Jose has dried up. Stay tuned.
Let's
go to Hayward in March!
Visit the 9 Duffer San
Jose Web Sites! Start with the following URL:
December
17, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 41
Friday
12/10/99
The Ghost is still on
suicide watch! He never showed up for Friday's game after giving up
hat tricks to Fruit cake and Koss. Stump had to protect the nets for the
Whites. The game was a low scoring event as Doc scored for the Blues
and some one scored for the Whites. It might have been one of the
Mazzarrellas there were a lot of them on the ice, then again it might have
been one of the Morgans. Oh, now I remember it was Woody Berserk.
Papa almost had one but he was hindered just as he shot. Beak had the
only thing that resembled a meaningful goal when he poked a shot past Stump
that came to rest just past the left post. Beer Nuts said that Stump
slid across and "accidentally" pushed the net back so that the
puck was now resting next to the left post. When Lil' Ben got there,
Stump was able to talk him into disallowing the goal. That was an easy
task, because Stump is Ben's idle, even though Stump looks up to him.
Wally Returns!
Welcome
to, "take a picture with Wally Day!"
Beak, The Judge, Skeeter, Wally and the King.
The Gang
Orion the Hunter
and Wally
Wally, King and Fruit Cake
Skeeter, Hitman and the King.
Berzerk, Doc and Hitman
Hyper Linked Nick Names
You can see a picture of the Duffer that goes along with the name.
Just click once (No double click needed) on the underlined link and it will
take you there!
Our Peoria Duffers have been enjoying the Duffer News on the
internet, but they would like to know a little about our names and how they
were derived. Some names have a story behind them, like Wheezer.
He got his name after his first shift when Beak asked him his name
and he was wheezing so much, he couldn't answer. Mini
Wheezer got his name by looking like Wheezer. Rick
Feldman got his nick name when Beak couldn't remember his name when he
was writing the list for a road trip. He was listed as Gilbert
(Pronounced Jillbear)
Some names are derived from their given name
like Agatha "Agi The Ref", Jerry
“Beer Nuts" Biernat, Bob
“Dill” Deau, Vidas “Formica”
Cermarka (also was called Veto), Gary “Ghost” Kasper, Arvydas
“Harvey” Dikinis, John “Hit
man” Heitman, Glen “Par 3” Oakes, Frank
“Knarf” (Frank spelled backwards) Presecky, Rich
“Muzzie“ Masiulewicz, Dan “Maz” Mazanec, Rick “Dizzy”
Dzingel and Jerry “Scrotum” Oskroba. Walter
“Waju” Kraftand Fred “Fruit Cake” Bobka
got their tags from the Polish translation of their names. Perry Lea got
tagged "The Flea"
when he was a kid, and he carried it with him to the Duffers. Brian "The
Brain" Opalka, our youngest Duffer plays Goalie he got his name
from a misspelling. Gene "Geno"
Cromwell returned after a 10 year sabbatical leave. Emil is one of our
Peoria Duffers and we started calling him Emily
on our San Jose road trip. He didn't really like that name too much,
so he is stuck with it. Bill Conti
may be called the Maestro since Bill Conti (No relation) the
musical conductor/director that wrote the themes to The Right Stuff, Rocky,
Dynasty and Falcon Crest, then again, he may be called Roids after Victor
Conti who supplied Berry Bonds with the Wrong Stuff. Beak invited T.O.
Tom O'Connor to join us when he was 53 years old, he finally made it two
years later in 2007. Another Duffer picked up a nick name with his
initials, Tom Ambrosia is
called T&A.
Occupation
Some Duffers get their names from what they do. Mike “Captain Hook" Spillman owns Split Second Towing,
(630-969-2579) Ron “Doc”
Dubreuil is a professor at the University
of Illinois, Keith “Doc” Suchy
is a Dentist,
Tim “Drano” Staats is a plumber with a teaching degree. Jim
“The King” Miceli owns the Duffers while Paul “Marsha” Novak is
a lawyer and he got his name during the OJ trial. Bob “Buckshot” Morgan is
a hunter and Mike “The Nailer” DeVivo
was a roofer. Dan “Tweedy” Lopatka got
his name when he was a 10 years old referee for the Duffers. Chris
"Berserk" or Chris “Woody”
Mazurk works with wood, although some say he was tagged in the shower as
was Stump. Nick
“The Hammer” Brescia brought a hammer into the locker room and gave
us some inexpensive clothes hangers. (16 penny nails.) Tim
"Basketball Jones" Smith is called Basketball Jones, because
he looked like a basketball player in his old High School Hockey pants. Those
pants have been retired, but the name lives on. Tim almost got in trouble
when his boss came in while he was looking at this picture of Buckshot
and Hacksaw.
Greg
“Beak” Lopatka got tagged for his nose. Ken
“Stump” Barczynski was as high as he was wide when he joined the
Duffers as a 16 year old goalie. Jim
“Titz” Michaelsen could fill out a DDD Bro-zier. John
“King Kong” Zagorski had his picture taken with ex-Black Hawk, King
Kong Korab, and was a head taller. John’s brother, Tom
“Ahb” Zagorski got his name by stuttering every time his parents
asked an accusing question, he would say, “Ahb, Ahb, Ahb. John
“Magoo” Landry is as blind as Mr. Magoo. Bill
“Klinger” Giffune would have been named Beak but that name was taken
when he joined us in the early 80s, so he was tagged Klinger since he looked
like the MASH star. Bill Louis was called "By the way Bill"
on his first night when he introduce himself that way, he was later called Blue
Ball Bill when he complained about a pain that lasted a few months.
Bill's wife read the front page article on The
cover of the Sun Newspaper and had him call the King.
During our trip to Toronto
in 2006, Bill brought out some old
Canadian friends to play with us. Darren Lamont called Dexterous
Daren and Lu Pinet, now known as Leapin
Lu. (He is the one sitting behind Hitman with his back on the Electrical
box) They had so much fun with us in their home town, that they joined us on
our Phoenix Road trip in 2008. After
playing 3 games in 4 days, Lu was signing his e-mails with Limpin Lu.
Behavior
Bruce “Disco Bear” Schmitz danced his way to a name at a
Duffer New Year's Eve party years ago. Boris
“Hacksaw” Pavichevich exposed a 20 inch scratch on his back when he
removed his shirt. He got that when he scratched his back with a
hacksaw blade. Boris is also known as Mr.
Clean. John
“Cry Baby” Koss gets his name when he cries for more ice time.
He was called “Anti-Koss” last week when he complained about too much
ice time. Lorenzo "Sanchez"
Dibaco got that tag for no special reason, other than to irritate him,
he took it well. Bill “Alien” Allen
is out there, he has problems adjusting to planet earth. Larry
“The Goon” Hansen is a Hansen Brother. Ed
“Anvil” Hawrysio. Bob
“Geek” Friedlander, Joe “Papa Joe”
"The Judge" "The Barber" Mazzarella,Joe
Jr. "Skeeter" Mazzarella and Gene
“Thor” Miller got their names for obvious reasons!Joe
found out that there are three ways to get in the Duffer News.
Score a meaningful goal
Do something stupid
Be a judge at the Randolph Science fair (No longer
works, since Beak retired)
Saturday
December 18 is for Duffers who like to watch. The Afternoon ice is not
available because of a basketball game. We are checking on January 15
or the 28 and 29. That week end, the Rivermen have a Friday and
Saturday home game. Maybe we could get 20 guys for a 2 night trip.
December
24, 1999 Reporters Cammi Granato *** Rich Storm Volume V Issue 42
Friday
12/17/99
The Ghost was removed from
suicide watch! As he returned to turn in a real solid performance in
the last Duffer game of the millennium. His only flaw was a lucky
meaningful goal by Fruit cake. Dizzy Dizingle scored the last
meaningless goal of the millennium when he scored in the final minute of the
game. Klinger tipped one past one past his only goalie to help Dizzy
get the last hat trick of the Millennium. Fred bought the last beer of
the Millennium, to make sure his goal was recorded for posterity in the
First Duffer News of the new Millennium.
The First Peoria Road Trip of the
Millennium! The
Next Peoria Road Trip
January
28 and 29. That week end, the Rivermen have a Friday and Saturday home
game. Coach Granato has arranged for us to play Friday and Saturday
afternoon. We will watch the Rivermen play in the evenings of those
days. Plan to take the day off on Friday. we will be leaving at
10 AM.
Wally
is working on a trip to Charlestown SC.
If
that doesn't work, the Mayor of Hayward is always ready to open the city up
to us! We haven't won the beer drinking trophy in several years.
DUFFER
NEWS
Peoria
Road Trips
Behavior
