Duffer Hockey News Number 86. December 15, 1996

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Duffer News Number 86


	Duffers Make Nutrition Discovery


	will become the Mean Duffer. (as in average) The average age of the Duffers is 42.22 (Mean). That means you must be over the mean age to be meaningful. The Whites couldn't tally a meaningful goal with Brinks hurting. Don's back has been out of wack for a month. Stump felt the frustration in the third period he started beating up on Kelley, then he tripped Beak as he was headed for a break away. As Beak was on the ice, Feeling pain and anger, Fred hurled several insults just to make him feel like a hockey player. Just as Beak was getting to his feet, Fred displayed a discusting show of compassion and helped Beak to his feet. Don't ever do that again! Beak was just starting to feel like a hockey player, then he ruined it. Beak thought he was on the golf course. Stump started to appologise but he couldn't. He said "how can I say I'm sorry when I meant to do it" Now that's hockey!


	Look closely at this picture! Do you still think salad is for weight watchers?


	For years we have been led to believe that salad is the food to eat when you want to keep your weight down. Harvey took this picture of some cheese heads at a salad bar in Green Bay. We are ready to publish our findings in the American Journal of Medicine. There are some serious activities that take place on these road trips. Some people think we just goof around for 3 days. Thor Thunders The God of Thunder returned to the ice with a roar. Thor was the only Duffer that showed up for the ill fated Thanksgiving skate. Those of you that money on Allen just proves there are no sure


	things. Miller scored early and often against the Spook goalie. Gary got caught playing Beak who was flying in on his right. The Ghost has gotten used to the NYPDs feeding the Beak all night long and he forgot that Thor is meaningful and hungry. Miller fired a low shot into the lower right side for his second (continued on page 2) goal as the Ghost moved to the left. Hit man Heitman added a goal to give the Blues a 3-0 Meaningful lead. Joe Maz Jr. (Continued from Page 1) scored 2 goals on one shift. Unfortunately Joe is 1.52 years short of being meaningful. Joe is patiently waiting for someone meaningful to retire, so that he

Page 2

Congratulations Paul Novak

Paul did what very few Duffers can do. He passed the Bar.

Here are some quotes from lawyers taken from court records nationwide. “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?”

“Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?”

“The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?”

“Were you alone or by yourself?”

“How long have you been a French Canadian?”

Q:. “Now, Mrs.Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?”

A: By Death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?”

Q: Mr.s Jones, do you know how far pregnant you are?”

A:” I’ll be 3 months on Nov. 8”

Q: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?”

A: Yes

Q: What were you doing at that time:”

Q: “Mrs. Smith, do you believe you are emotionally stable?”

A: “I used to be.”

Q: “How many times have you committed suicide?”

Q: “Have you lived in this town all of your life?”

A: “Not Yet.

Study these Paul, and make sure you never use any of them in your courtroom banter.