Braille Goal
Tending
Did you ever hit Stump with a screen shot and hear his reply when you
yell, “You never saw it!” He laughs and says, “I didn't have
to, you hit me!”
Here is a reprint from a pre computer, 1978 Duffer News, when Stump
was a twig.
Dear Duffer Advisor,
I hear rumors that Stump and Slime Dog are going to open up a
goalie school using the Braille Method of goaltending. Please tell
me, what in the world is Braille Goaltending?
Dilated Duffer
Dear Dilated,
The Braille method of goaltending was named after Louis Braille
(1852) teacher of the blind. Braille goaltending was developed
exclusively by Slime Dog and Stump under very controlled conditions.
Normally, vision is a very important part of goaltending. Duffer
goalies have had to adapt, because Duffer defensemen always back their 4
foot high rear ends into the 4 foot high goalies. thus removing all of
the advantages of vision. Their nasal passages are also rendered
inoperative, so all they have left is hearing, touch and taste.
They listen for the slap of wood against rubber, flinch and wait for the
feel or taste of the puck. Once this happens, they must react
quickly to try to grab the rebound before one of those lecherous
forwards bangs it in. Braille goaltending usually fails after 3
rebounds.
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Top Ten Reasons to go to Toronto:
Uncle Bob will make his first appearance since he left town.
The King will come out of retirement
Rumor has it that Papa Joe has accumulated enough points for a road trip. Dee gives him 5 points for staying home on Friday nights, he now has several hundred. He is trying to see if his frequent flyer miles will help him reduce the bus fair.
Heineken Light will test market it's new product on our 8 hour bus trip.
8 hours of laughter on the trip out
8 hours of sleep on the way home
You get a break from your wife or Significant other
Your wife or Significant other gets a much needed break from you
You can write off the trip as a medical expense*
Watching Thor go 16 hours without a smoke, Priceless
Here
is another reason to come to Toronto.
11.
To officially see Canadian "Peelers" at the Canadian
Ballet!!!!!
Take
care,
Perry
* Dr. Andrew Weil has a book, 8 weeks to Optimum Health. In his book, he outlines a program that will help you achieve optimum health. Here is his program.
Take a break from watching the news. TV news is a depressant. No Duffer has ever watched the news on a road trip.
Get away from depressing people, try to spend time with people that make you laugh. Where else can you go to church and see a guy come out with toilet paper flowing out of his butt? (That happened on our last 8 hour bus trip to Hayward when we picked up Papa Joe, Brinks and Muzzy from Sunday Mass. The small town people were amazed to see a huge luxury coach outside of their church. )
Go to a Hot Tub and sweat. We spent many hours in the Hot Tubs in Hayward, Detroit, Columbus and Green Bay.
Go for a 25 minute walk Harvey's shopping expeditions more than fulfill that requirement.
Exercise sensibly then take in plenty of fluids. We played two fast paced hockey games and took in plenty of fluids.
Have some garlic and olive oil. If you ever went to a team dinner, you know that the Bagh Wan's (The King) choice of restaurant will give you plenty of garlic and olive oil.
We should be able to write off road trips as a health expense.
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