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1996
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Hayward Trip 
Michelle Spillman
Michelle Spillman 10-31-10
Duffer Birthdays
November 11 Art (55)
November 17 Uncle Bob (60)
November 28 Tom O (68)
The Jeff Lopez Short Version Duffer Video is on Youtube
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Duffer News!
Jeff revealed the gender of his child with a slap shot in April. https://youtu.be/hYxImtNewt0
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 Jay shows off his new Duffer jersey. |
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 (Below) The Mazzarella father son combination accounted for 4 of the Red goals. |
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· Page 2 Joe Takes Hockey Lessons I get to the locker room. I have very little idea of what to do. So I am watching intently the other guys while they put on their gear. I figure, what better way to learn than to observe. They all must think I'm the gay-boy staring in the locker room. · I manage to get most of the stuff on without forgetting much. Feelin' good. Skates feel nice, elbow pads cut-off all the circulation to my hands. I adjust. · Get on the ice and haven't fallen yet. Uh oh, many of the guys are talking about their game last night while skating backwards. I think, "Oh sh**, these guys actually can skate…wrong class." · Still haven't fallen. · Warm up skating…supposed to skate around the 5 circles. Didn't even know there were five, so I just follow the guy in front of me. He quickly pulls away, and I quickly cause a major back-up. Nice. Did you know some guys can actually skate while in a turn. Me, no. I can propel forwards, then turn. Straight…turn…straight….turn. You get the idea. I don't skate in circles, I skate in octagons. However, I quickly gather than many of the guys also suck, so I'm in good company. · Another ra-tard drill. Pass, skate, receive a pass, skate, shoot. I got the pass down. I got the skate down. I got the miss the pass down, and I never got to shoot because I didn't have a puck. To make it worse, when I would miss the pass, the instructor would send out a "second" puck to accomplish the task. I missed that one too. Twice. · Now I am convinced I have made a bad choice. I'm a better fan than player. Go Toews! · The instructor brings us all together. Some guys take a knee. I think, "Ok Joe, be cool. Take a knee." I fall on my ass. BTW, with so much crap on I didn't feel a thing. · Being as delicate as a hockey instructor can be, he says the advanced skater go one way and the rest of you ra-tards go the other way. Ra-tard went the other way. · Jamoke drill 1: Skate forwards. It's not the going forwards that got the group. It was the stopping. Poor instructor is going to earn his money with this group. · Jamoke drill 2: Backwards. In reality this drill probably only took 5 minutes. In Joe's skating world…for f***-sake ever! · Jamoke drill 3: Hockey stop, both sides. Skate…stop…fall. Skate…stop…fall. Skate…stop…fall. Over and over. But I have pads on and no self respect that this point. · Drink break. Dumbass forgets a water bottle. So I practice…skate…stop….fall. F*** that. I just go to the bench. · Jamoke Drill 4: Get a puck, skate to the blue line, hockey stop, stake to the other side, hockey stop, skate to the goal, shoot the puck into the net. No problem, I have seen 1 legged ra-tards do this. How hard can it be? Joe's version. Find a puck…push, pull, and skate past the damn thing. Finally get to the blue line. Crap…the puck is behind me. Reach around for it…fall. Get to the blue line…hockey stop, but the opposite way than I'm used to. So I do a twist, turn, fall, f*** this, get up. Trudge to the other side. Hockey stop. Nice. Trudge to the goal…weak ass wrist shot that missed everything and plunks against the wall. Not even a good whack, but just a plunk. Over and over, and over again. A one-legged ra-tard can kick my ass. Nice. · Drink break. Where's the god damn beer. By this point my helmet is so freakin' tight that my head is numb, I am sweat soaked like I have never been in my life, amazingly nothing hurts (but my head), and my nut-hut is still in place. Good to go. · Ok….light colored jerseys onto that bench…dark colored jerseys on the other. Huh? Are we practicing jumping over the wall? Nope. 5 on 5 game for 30 minutes. Seriously? I take a quick inventory…ego? Gone. Self respect? Gone too. Numb head? Yup. Everyone else suck this much? Yup. Lets go. · My turn. I figure, play defense. If nothing else I can work on my best skill…flopping on the ice. After what seemed to be 3 hours, I go back to the bench. Grinning. · I observe. We all suck. This is great. We all sucky-suck so bad that it's like watching an old Saints/Falcons game. They both suck so bad that it's a good game. · My turn again. After sitting on the bench for a few minutes everything starts to tighten. I jump over the wall and fall. Again. Grinning. · I'm so freaking slow to realize what's going on that I find myself in the middle of the ice. An errant puck heads my way. I piss my pants (you can't tell though, everything is wet). I snare the puck, turn around, skate 20 feet, find my winger, flip a pass, he gets it, he scores. Joe gets his first cherry picking assist. History is made. I'm all tear-y eyed. It's a moment to be shared. Then someone yells, "Nice pass cherry picking dumbass". Perfect.
· My run again. I am planning on making another historic run at it. This time, I find myself all alone in the offensive end. The puck is resting against the outside of the net. I can't believe my luck (hey, you make your own luck). Now, any Duffer could easily have just grabbed the puck and twisted a little tap into the net. Not so much here. I go flying past it, manage to poke the thing with an out-stretched stick, slam into the wall (who put that there?). Our team scores again. 2 assists for yours truly. Its making my head swell, which sucks because my helmet is too small. · Last turn. I figure I would see how long I am out there. The clock says 11:14. I jump on the ice and fall. I skate my little heart out. Up, down, left, right, poke, crash. I've had enough. Surely its been 10 minutes. Get to the bench. 11:15. What a putz. · Game over. We get killed. I'm grinning like a virgin in a Navy port brothel. Yup, that's right. Bring on the next game. 2 hours of absolute dumb-ass jamokedness in pads. Admittedly, being 6'4" 240 lbs, I have not been blessed with the graceful gene. I don't run, I lope. I don't dance, I bounce to the rhythm of another song. Now, put on skates, give me a stick, put me on ice. Limbs flopping all over the place. Sticks flying. Missing pucks. Not even seeing the puck. Laughing so hard my glasses are fogged up. The Duffers will never be the same. · Joe Evans
Comments
Outstanding!.
Oh my god.
Joe, I laughed so hard, I've been there. You will get top billing in the Next Duffer News! Thank You. I have a tip for your instructor, (He should know this) I was asked to get Hockey going again at Downers South High School by Johnny Z. The program died out after my Son Ken Graduated and I handed the check book to a new sucker. Johnny assured me that there were enough guys to start a team, so I rented ice and held a try out. I skated out to center ice, blew the whistle and called everyone to center ice, not knowing that 6 or 7 of these guys could not stop. There was a pile up of players like a fog induced 20 car pile up. I was laughing at the site until someone slid into the back of my legs and sent me crashing to the ice. I should have known better, because I coached little mites and never called them to center ice. I always had them line up at the boards, where I would skate over when the final kid fell. Welcome to the Duffers, it will be nice having someone who can read and write. Beak
Beak, You can find the above article by going to the Duffer History page at: http://www.lopatka.net/history.htm Go to the March of year 2010 and you will find the following: March 4, 2010 Duffers go to Nashville Read more... March 20, 2010 Stump Turns 50! Joe "Face Plant" Evans reports on his first Hockey Lesson Read more.... I was queried about the Hamms bear picture from the 1970s. Pictured below is my original $2 Duffer Jersey. I wore #9 until Klinger joined us in 1980 and I took #99 and he took #9.
Years later, we looked up the definition in the
Funk and Wagnalls and found Peoria Duffer Emil Ludi is 80!
He played for USA for 80+ Canada/USA Cup in Ottawa last weekend---we won
3-2--this is the 3rd year for the Cup game which was started to
celebrate 150 years of hockey in Canada---members of the Canadian team
get inducted into the Canada hockey Hall of Fame-we had one guy from MN.
who had played for the old Chicago Hornets in 60-63(Bob
Erickson)----they were in the old Chicago area league---also in looking
through my old stuff I noticed a Friedlander played against my Peoria
team on a Chicago team that came down to Springfield to play us--hope
the Friday night numbers improve---stay healthy
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| The Duffers skated in the Bay Front Arena in 1979. We were on the
10 O'clock News in St Petersberg. The Arena was blown up in 2009.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWXtDx4ihtQ
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We needed Jeff on Friday to take care of the Zamboni driver!
 The Lopatkas had a busy weekend. After getting home at 1:30, I went to watch Carmela score a goal just 7 hours later. |
 My grandson Jeff was bust digging to the bottom of his house foundation. It was nice to have a backhoe to do the digging. |
 Sunday, Klinger and I went to watch Audrey drive in 2 runs with a line drive double over the left fielder's head. |
 After Audrey's game, we went to Carol Stream Ice Arena to warm up while we watched Luke play. |
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 I lost a dear friend Friday night while we were playing hockey. Chester Lis was my quarterback and class president. He organized all of the golf outings, Christmas parties and Hall of Fame dinners. (Above) He is pictured above with me in 1958. (Left) Chester was our class president. Ryan Dzingel's grandfather is on the far right, he was our class treasurer.
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George Carlin’s Views on Aging (Larry Miller first delivered a similar version) Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life … . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa!
Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’ Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’ May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
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 We had 6 Duffers at the MNF backyard big screen party! A Big thanks toHammer, Bill BTW, Terry. Mini Wheezer, and Tom Ambrosia for coming. BBTW brought cheeses, crackers and salami. T&A brought pumpkin spread and Hammer brought a bottle. This was a high end civilized gathering of men of quality! |
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 Co-MVP Brett and Vidas each had a goal |
 Grandpa Ken celebrated the birth of his 3rd grandchild with 2 goals! |
 Greg Z was our MVP when he brought us a case of beer. |
 Fred paid his dues so he is back for another season. |
 Mini-Wheezer was posting Facebook live updates. |
 Vidas and Johnny Z were all smiles after scoring goals and beers. |
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It was great to be back at the Kilt, we got 20% discounts on our meals. Our waitress Corra provided us with great service. We had a lot of laughs looking at the Czar's collection of Photoshop gems. You can view them by clicking on the link. |
| After getting a request to go back to keeping "Meaningful" scores, I searched some Duffer History and came up with a Newsletter from December 16, 2005 (Posted below) that mentioned Meaningful goals. While reading it I was reminded of my return to the ice with a new hip in that game. After reading what happened that day I have to wonder why I didn't retire after that game. Tim Smith shot me in the hip and gave me a big bruise just below the stitches that I got 5 months earlier. He hit me with a high hard one that bruised my shoulder and he was on my team. I also got shot in the balls by an opponent. If you want to see those ugly bruises, go to The webpage for that date. http://www.lopatka.net/12-16-05/index.htm |
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Our lovely photographer Abby was able to catch the Maestro's head in this picture from her phone. |
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What a great bunch of guys. That is the Maestro who is doing the "Killroy was here" over my left shoulder in the top picture. |
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| Congratulations to John Bobka who graduated from William and Mary Law school on Mother's day. |
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August 11, Tommy Z hosted the Annual Duffer Picnic where Brian Stewart received the Tim "Basket Ball Jones" Perfect Attendance Award. The Commander Ken presented Harvey with the Klinger Krash award and the Steve "The Hammer" Hammerquest was awarded with the Duffer Meaningless Award. August 25, We had 18 Duffers at the August Golf Outing. Visit the Duffer Summer Fun Page. September 14, 2018 We had 21 Duffers show up for the season opener. Anthony played goalie for the first time and picked up the 9-8 win. Terry complained when Beak passed to his grandson Monet Mike to set up the game winner in the closing minutes. Young guys are supposed to pass to the old guys. Steve The Hammer and Commander Ken provided us with a great cookout and Brian Stewart was presented with his perfect attendance award. Read More.... October 12, 2018 The Czar announced a train road trip to St. Louis to play 2 games and watch Ryan Dzingel and the Ottawa Senators play the St Louts Blues. We will leave the Amtrack Station in Joliet on Thursday January 17 and return on Sunday. Johnny B made his first game and played goalie. Mini Wheezer posted a Live feed on Facebook. Read More.... October 19, 2018 Brett, our Dick Tracy Detective, scored a spectacular goal for the Reds when the White team traded him there to slow down the stacked Red team. That goal prompted Beak to add Brett to the long list of Duffers who have been Photoshoped by the Czar and Beak. Read More.... November 9, 2018 Grandpa Ken scored 2 goals to keep his scoring streak alive. Ken has scored in all 8 games this season. Those titanium knees are working well. Joe "Drago" Evans ended his hold out and showed up playing for the Reds. He was traded to the Whites for TZ when the Whites went 5 goals ahead. Read More.... November 22, 2018 We had 30 Duffers show up for Hockey, Beer and Brats. Read More...... January 18, 2019 The Duffers took a train ride to St Louis. We played 2 games then watched Ryan Dzingel and the Senators play the Blues. Read More..... February 15, 2019 Amber Kraft became the first Granddaughter of a Duffer to score a goal. Rick Dzingel scored his first Duffer Goal. Read More.... March 8, 2019 Carmela Lopatka became the first Great granddaughter of a Duffer to play in a game and get an assist on her grandpa Ken's Hat Trick. Read More.... March 21, 2019 Tumblin Terry Nance scored 2 goals in 10 seconds to lead the Polar Bears to a 7-3 win. Read More..... March 28, 2009 Fred Bobka made his first appearance since the death of his son Joe. Before the opening faceoff, the Duffers formed a circle around the center ice circle to pay their respects to Joe Bobka. Twelve year old Carmela Lopatka became the first Great Granddaughter of a Duffer (GGOD) to score a goal in a Duffer game. Her Dad, Mike, Grandpa, Ken, and great Grandpa, Beak also scored to give the Reds a come from behind 10-5 win. That was Beak's first goal as a 79 year old. Jay "The Sniper" Hernandez scored his first Hat Trick. Greg Dubbs got his first Duffer win, when he played his first game as a goalie. 12 Year Old Ryan Kroll played his first Duffer Game. Will County Judge Dan Rippy scored his first Duffer goal. Read More.... April 12, 2019 Speed Racer Jeff Lopatka revealed the gender of his baby to be with a slap shot. Read more.... View the video here: https://youtu.be/hYxImtNewt0 April 24, 2019 The Duffers finished their 48th season with a cookout and a 5-0 Meaningful win. Read More....
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 Watch the video https://youtu.be/hYxImtNewt0 |
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I took advantage our Holy Week break and went to Florida to visit my
sister. I watched Mo, Larry and Curley hook a shark and lose him. I
watched my grandson Michael catch a catfish. We watched the Blue
Angels practice at Fort Pickens and again at the Naval Air Museum. We
went on a dolphin sunset cruise and saw dozens of dolphins playing near
our boat.
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| Klinger and I went to the Vault for our weekly
Duffer lunch and we met a wonderful group of ladies who were raising
funds to help a family pay for the medical care for their daughter
Ellie. They know how to raise funds. The are selling 4 packs of
beer to help Ellie. Read about her story here:
https://www.loveforellie.com/ Stop by the Vault in Lemont and buy a 12 pack for Ellie.
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